A Thankstaking Story

Chris: Hey, this is Chris! Welcome to Adventures in Odyssey.
Connie Kendall: Where could I have left it? Oh, Whit, have you seen my cell phone?
John Whittaker: Not since I walked in the door. Oh, it’s cold out there! You know it’s beginning to snow?
Connie Kendall: Was it supposed to snow today? Yeah, 60 percent chance. I can’t find it anywhere!
John Whittaker: Why are you here, Connie? It’s Thanksgiving Day. You should be with your family.
Connie Kendall: Well, I was on my way to my mom’s house when I realized I couldn’t find my cell phone. The last time I remember using it was last night right before I closed the shop. Remember writing myself a note on this pad? Then the power went off.
John Whittaker: The power went off?
Eugene Meltzner: Eugene tripped the breaker.
John Whittaker: Why was Eugene working on the breaker?
Eugene Meltzner: Greetings, Mr. Whittaker. I was testing the generator to make sure the shop didn’t lose power whilst we’re out for the holiday.
Connie Kendall: Which caused us to lose power. Hi, everybody!
Wooton Bassett: Greetings, Wooton.
Eugene Meltzner: Hi, Wooton. Are you all right?
John Whittaker: Yes, it's just a little cold. I’ll be fine once my lips thaw out. I’ll make some hot chocolate. Oh, you are a saint!
Wooton Bassett: Hot chocolate? How can anyone think about hot chocolate at a time like this?
Connie Kendall: Connie, have you tried calling yourself?
John Whittaker: Whit, how can I call myself if I don’t have my cell phone?
Connie Kendall: I believe, Ms. Kendall, that he means you should call your cell phone with the landline in the kitchen. If the phone is nearby, you’ll hear it ring.
Eugene Meltzner: Oh, yeah, that’s a good idea.
Connie Kendall: So what’s everybody doing here? I mean, it’s Thanksgiving Day after all.
Wooton Bassett: Some friends invited me to an authentic Thanksgiving meal at the Connelsville Inn, but I left my reservation ticket in my office. What are you doing here, Eugene? Shouldn’t you be at home with Katrina?
John Whittaker: Oh, she’s cooking even as we speak. Having damaged the generator last night, however, I came in to fix it and to retrieve my ukulele.
Eugene Meltzner: You need your ukulele for Thanksgiving?
Wooton Bassett: Oh, indeed. Strumming old hymns on the ukulele has been a Meltzner family tradition going back to Johann von Meltzner, who taught the Pilgrims before they left on the Mayflower.
Eugene Meltzner: That’s it! I hear my cell phone! Where’s it coming from?
Connie Kendall: My pocket?
Wooton Bassett: What?
Connie Kendall: I can only surmise that I picked yours up thinking it was mine, which now leads me to wonder where my cell phone is.
Wooton Bassett: If I were you, I’d be looking in that refrigerator.
Eugene Meltzner: Well, at least we found it. Give it to me.
Connie Kendall: Now that that mystery is solved, I’d say some hot chocolate is in order. I’m on it!
Wooton Bassett: Okay, let me find the bucket. Close the door!
John Whittaker: Oh, hey guys!
Wooton Bassett: Greetings and salutations.
Eugene Meltzner: Well, looks like we’re not the only ones seeking shelter.
Uncle Wally: Come in. This is my Uncle Wally. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m John Whittaker. This is Connie, Eugene, Wooton.
John Whittaker: Wally Hagler.
Uncle Wally: Hey, Wally. Well, you own Hagler’s Junkyard. I’ve been there a few times.
Wooton Bassett: Most people have. And don’t forget the shop. I got a great shop there too. Come in, I’ll make you a deal on anything I’ve got.
Uncle Wally: So what are you two doing out?
John Whittaker: My boy genius nephew lost the remote control for his television, so we’re going back to my shop to find a replacement. Who wants to get up from the couch to switch channels for the football games, am I right?
Uncle Wally: Right.
John Whittaker: Anyway, we slid on some ice and got stuck in a ditch out front.
Uncle Wally: I had no idea the weather had turned so bad. It was a light snow when I got here.
John Whittaker: Yikes, I better go home before it gets worse.
Wooton Bassett: I don’t think you’ll be going anywhere, young lady. Between the bad visibility and the ice, it’s dangerous driving.
Uncle Wally: But I can’t stay here for Thanksgiving! I mean, I like you all and everything, but I need to be home with my mom!
Connie Kendall: I’ll call the Highway Patrol to see just how bad the roads are. What? The roads are closed?
John Whittaker: I’m afraid so. He said that all the cars are getting stranded all over the county.
Connie Kendall: So much for a 60 percent chance of snow.
John Whittaker: Perhaps they meant the 60 percent of the county where we live. Well, you may as well settle in and make yourselves at home.
Eugene Meltzner: I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I suppose things could be worse.
John Whittaker: Oh, yeah? Like how?
Connie Kendall: Well, the power could go off.
Jay Smouse: Yep, that’d be worse all right. Oh, it’s worse.
John Whittaker: Don’t worry, the generator will kick in any minute.
Connie Kendall: Well, you mean the generator that I’ve been trying to fix?
Jay Smouse: Oh, dear.
John Whittaker: Pass the peppermint ripple, please. Where'd you go? Brain freeze!
Eugene Meltzner: You know, this will be the first Thanksgiving I haven’t spent with Katrina since we were married. A simple little case of missing you.
John Whittaker: Can we get a little more heat, please?
Wooton Bassett: Certainly.
Eugene Meltzner: Thanks. I wonder who’s winning the game.
Connie Kendall: Speaking of games, maybe we ought to play one! I vote for Blind Man’s Headache.
Wooton Bassett: I’ve never heard of that one.
Connie Kendall: Oh, that’s where everybody wears blindfolds and has to find a dime on the floor without getting a concussion. Yeah, it’s a lot of fun, but I never remember it after I play it.
Wooton Bassett: I’m sorry, Wooton, but I don’t really want to play the concussion game if that’s okay.
Connie Kendall: No, no, but we should do something fun instead of just sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves.
John Whittaker: I know. I like feeling sorry for myself.
Connie Kendall: Well, what do you suggest, Mr. Whittaker?
Eugene Meltzner: Oh, how about campfire stories?
Wooton Bassett: Two problems: we’re not camping, and we have a blowtorch, not a fire.
Connie Kendall: More heat, please!
Uncle Wally: Certainly. Well, we don’t need a campfire to tell a fun story. All we need is our imagination. But everyone will have to join in. What do you say?
John Whittaker: Agreed, Mr. Whittaker.
Eugene Meltzner: I think we should tell a Thanksgiving story.
Wooton Bassett: You just read my mind, Wooton. In fact, I know just how to get us started.
John Whittaker: Yeah, go for it, Whit. Wait, wait, I will set the mood.
Wooton Bassett: You’re going to set the mood with a harmonica?
Eugene Meltzner: Oh, yeah! Nothing says Thanksgiving like a polka tune, and nothing says polka like a harmonica. Unless it’s a harmonica and maybe a ukulele.
Wooton Bassett: Right you are.
Eugene Meltzner: Lead on, maestro! Cue the narrator! Oh, right.
Wooton Bassett: In a year of much blessing and many new things, when families gather and join to do singings, a group of good people join peals of bell ringings to offer Thanksgiving for all of God's bringings. The town was McGlooville, where all the McGloos joined hands to give thanks and to spread the good news. But high on a mold hill nearby stood Felonious Scrunge, the grump of all grumps, who’s as mean and as nasty as any bad baddie who ever did wince at mince pie.
John Whittaker: Hey, you should be the Scrunge, Uncle Wally!
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): Me?
Wooton Bassett: Yeah, do that voice you use when you want to give me nightmares.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): You mean this one?
Wooton Bassett: Yeah, that’s definitely the one!
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): All right then. Lead me in with the song again, would you?
John Whittaker (Narrator): Very well.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): Thanksgiving, Thank-smiving! What does it get you but indigestion? Indigestion and bellyache, I say! And who has to listen to those obnoxious McGloos go on and on about their many bountiful blessings? Who else? Me! Right now the McGloos are all down in their houses, cooking their turkeys and kissing their spouses. They’ll watch their parades and eat all their lunches while munching their chips and sipping their punches. I suppose it’s all fine for McGloos and their kin, but it makes me feel scrunchy and crawls on my skin, so I think I would rather it didn’t begin.
John Whittaker (Narrator): He mused and he mused as he thought of each Muppet.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): I have to do something real clever to stop it!
John Whittaker (Narrator): He devised his cruel plan as McGloos did their baking.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): I know! I’ll change their Thanksgiving instead to Thanks-taking!
John Whittaker (Narrator): The Scrunge soon found out that the job was too big for one crotchety lout with no hair or a wig, so he called his mean friends to join in on the gig. They quickly agreed and arrived in a jig.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Bad guy roll call! Burger Blitzer, Blitzer Burger! That’s me, I’m here.
Wooton Bassett (as Abominable Turkey): Abominable Turkey!
Eugene Meltzner (as Bad Guy): The genus Meleagris gallopavo present and accounted for.
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Arctic Wind! That’s Arctic Blast now. I have been upgraded to a category four storm.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): And finally, Great Bumpkin. Bumpkin, are you here? You know, I’m beginning to wonder if he’s real. How many of these holiday things have we done now and he’s never shown up?
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): He’ll be here, just you wait, you’ll see. Okay, Burger Blitzer, you’re on.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): I, Burger Blitzer, Blitzer Burger, newly unelected mayor of McGlooville, do hereby decree without authority or remorse that any meal that has pumpkin pie or cranberries is hereby banned. Or yams! Also, no watching of football games or department store parades.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): What? Who are you, you overgrown little girl?
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): I’m Katie Pooh McGloo, and I really want to watch the parade. It’s my favorite thing!
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Okay, you can watch the parade if you can find a TV. But no singing! I hate singing! Anyone who does anything like this will be in big, big trouble. I’m not kidding.
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): What about turkey? He didn’t mention turkey.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Yes! Like the Abominable Turkey here says, no meal with turkey either. Not even a giblet! I’m serious about this.
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): Papa McGloo, what are we going to do? No Thanksgiving celebration? Our traditions all banned?
John Whittaker (as Papa McGloo): At least we can eat food that is canned. We’ll invite our whole family and all join together, and all of us McGloos will enjoy our fine weather.
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): You’ve enjoyed good weather for the very last time, you McGloos, you!
John Whittaker (as Papa McGloo): I don’t understand. Who are you?
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): The name is Arctic, Arctic Blast. I’m the guy who freezes everything, including the pipes in your home. Oh yeah, and I’m a freelance rock singer during the summer months. Maybe you’ve heard of my band, Stinking Cold?
John Whittaker (as Papa McGloo): Can’t say as I have.
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Okay, well, here’s my card. Anyway, I’m going to freeze things so bad that your family won’t be able to make it home for Thanksgiving. What do you think of that?
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): I don’t think that would be very nice.
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Yeah, I know, right? It’s tough carrying on the family business.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): I don’t mean to interrupt, but just freeze everything, would you?
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): When you say everything, do you mean some things or all things? I mean, I can’t freeze everything since that would include you and me. And then I mean, who would we talk to?
John Whittaker (Narrator): Freeze the world! Oh, that's all? No people? No, just the world. Oh, come on, why didn’t you just say so? Before you could say I love Black Friday shopping, a strong frosty gale wind lashed the town without stopping. Every road, every tree, every car, truck, and wagon froze stiff from the chill of that Arctic Blast dragon.
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Now you see, that is exactly what I’m talking about. Where'd this whole dragon thing come from? I need a new press agent.
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): This is so sad and a real tragic bummer!
John Whittaker (Narrator): She wished that Thanksgiving had come in the summer.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): Just wait until the Great Bumpkin comes! You'll bring loads of ingratitude for all of you chumps. We’re the League of Self-Seekers, we’re removing your baking. After all, that’s what happens each year on Thanks-taking. Tasty food is outlawed, it’s a valid true bill. Furthermore, McGlooville shall be called Get-a-Glooville! And I’m hereby increasing the McGloo cost of living! Yes, this is the year there will be no Thanksgiving!
John Whittaker (Narrator): And the Scrunge laughs in menace at the lack of a feast.
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): It came without turkey, it came without yams, it came without butter rolls, stuffing, or spams!
Eugene Meltzner (as Bad Guy): The Scrunge and his cronies all relish their feat. They got rid of Thanksgiving since no one could eat. Now if the Great Bumpkin would finally get here, we’ll make absolutely certain that no one becomes thankful.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): Well, one thing’s for sure: those McGloo relatives won’t make it home, not in this incredibly frigid Arctic storm!
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Pardon me, but if no one can brave this proverbial storm, then how pray tell will the Great Bumpkin arrive?
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Nuts, we forgot about that! Now what are we going to do? The Great Bumpkin was bringing those loads of ungratefulness for us to wield against the McGloos! Without it, people can still be thankful in their heart. They might become even more thankful, and then all of our insidious designs to eliminate Thanksgiving would be foiled!
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Oh, that would be terrible!
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): I know what to do! I’ll make a law!
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): You already did that.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Yeah, but I’ll make another law.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): You’ve made quite a few already.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Right, but this law’s the best one! All outlaw praying! No praying at all, not even a moment of silence!
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): I like it! When people pray, they wind up saying how thankful they are, and if they do that, well, Thanksgiving is still happening and you know we’re ruined! So booyah! No praying in Get-a-Glooville! Yeah! That’ll stop those McGloos from being thankful!
John Whittaker (as Papa McGloo): Excuse me, residents of Get-a-Glooville! In addition to all of the other laws I have so cleverly thought up today, I have another doozy for you, okay? From this moment on, no one is allowed to say any prayers of any kind for any reason, anytime, anywhere!
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Oh no, that’s impossible!
John Whittaker (as Papa McGloo): No, no, no, I’m not kidding here. Don’t even think good thoughts. Just go about your day like it was another routine, boring, pathetic day. Complain and spread bad feelings and annoy people and stuff.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): But we don’t do any of those things!
John Whittaker (as Papa McGloo): Preposterous! I do it all the time, so everyone else must.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Nope, no one in McGlooville does.
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): Well, I’ll have to create another law. It’s been a busy day. From now on, you must complain and spread bad feelings and annoy people and stuff. One thing is for sure: you McGloos will never ever be thankful again.
John Whittaker (Narrator): Wow, I don’t think I like you guys very much. Soon the Scrunge and his pals sat in their grumpy mean houses, sipping cold coffee and grinning the louses. Then what to the wondering ear should be heard but a song of glad voices!
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): What? Impossible! Absurd!
John Whittaker (Narrator): It dotted the village like mistletoe leaves, it rose from the eaves that unsettled the thieves.
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): What manner of music-making is this? Blast! Maybe I should have frozen the people too. How dare they? They’re obviously a bunch of nonconformists and rabble. Get 'em, eaves! Have some nerve! Take 'em out like the trash they are!
John Whittaker (Narrator): They went back to the town from the house on the mold hill to stop the glad voices and make the town Grooville. They rang McGloo doorbells, they called a town meeting, they accused them of cheating and gross overeating.
John Whittaker (as Papa McGloo): Not so, my dear friends. We ate what you left us. Do you think we look bloated?
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): No, I have to admit that you look a bit thin. But why are you singing? Why do you grin?
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): We’re thankful!
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): But why? You have nothing to do!
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): We’re not thankful for things. We’re thankful for you!
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): What? But we banned your festivities, banned your huge feast, banned all your family, and last but not least, we banned you from praying to God! So thus it makes little sense you’d be thankful for us. I don’t get it!
John Whittaker (Narrator): Then Katie Pooh McGloo walked up to the grout and she gave him a hug and he slugged her hard.
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): Ouch! Thanks to you, since you took our Thanksgiving away, we now understand the real worth of this day. We didn’t ask you to show us and we sure didn’t choose it. But sometimes you don’t value a thing till you lose it. Now we’ll actually celebrate this day most sincerely, while before we acknowledged it quite cavalierly. So we’re thankful for everything you took. But what’s more, we’re grateful you took it. And no, we’re not sore.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Preposterous! Let’s throw them in jail! You will all rue the day! Rue the day!
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Now hold on a minute, Mayor Blisterburger. Little Katie Pooh McGloo is right. We do have a lot of blessings to be thankful for.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): What? What are you saying? That’s crazy! That sounds like treason!
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): I’m saying that maybe it’s good to be thankful. I suddenly feel all warm inside, which for me is a pretty big deal.
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Cut it out!
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Well, you know, I could be thankful too if only turkeys weren’t on the Thanksgiving menu.
Eugene Meltzner (as Bad Guy): We McGloos never eat turkey. We have ham for Thanksgiving.
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): There’s not an abominable pig, is there?
Eugene Meltzner (as Bad Guy): No, I hope not. That’s an important piece of information. I wish I’d known that.
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Let me get this straight. Are you saying that Thanksgiving is okay after all? Oh man, I knew it! I totally knew it! I could have been watching football and eating pies and playing games! Oh, it could have been so great! I’ve been robbed! I want restitution!
Eugene Meltzner (as Bad Guy): And it’s all the Scrunge’s fault!
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): What? Me?
Jay Smouse (as Burger Blitzer): Scrunge, you have some explaining to do!
Uncle Wally (as Felonious Scrunge): You guys are all softies. Good bad guys are so hard to find this time of year.
Wooton Bassett (as Arctic Blast): Scrunge, you have a severely dinky heart. I vote that we all help reform this sadly negative creature. What do you say, everybody? Take him away! Go, Harbo! First we go through the seven levels of the Pumpkin Forest, and then up past the door of the Swirly-Whirly Cranberries!
Connie Kendall (as Katie Pooh McGloo): Now that’s something to be thankful for.
John Whittaker (Narrator): As they took him away, every McGloovian dweller, from the small to the tall, gathered around the church beller and sang one more time of the joy of Thanksgiving in spite of the Scrunge and the high cost of living.
Connie Kendall: Merry Christmas! Hi, Harlo.
John Whittaker: Hi, Harlo.
Connie Kendall: Harlo, I hate to tell you this, but it’s not Christmas yet.
Harlo: Oh, well then Happy New Year!
Connie Kendall: No, it’s not New Year’s either.
Harlo: Joyous Arbor Day?
Connie Kendall: It’s Thanksgiving, Harlo! And in case you didn’t know, it’s blizzarding outside.
Harlo: Don’t be ridiculous, Connie! A person with my unique skills of observation and keen analytical abilities would notice that right away. I’ll just open this door and look out. Really is coming down out there, ain’t it?
John Whittaker: What are you doing here, Harlo?
Harlo: What am I doing? What am I doing? Why, I’m on the lookout for something that’s missing, of course.
John Whittaker: And what would that be?
Harlo: Why, Thanksgiving! And by the looks of things, I believe I have found it! It’s always the last place you look, you know.
Wooton Bassett: Well, I’d be really thankful if you had a snowmobile.
Harlo: Yeah, me too. Then the one I drove here would have a brother.
John Whittaker: You came on a snowmobile?
Harlo: I tried a boogie board first but didn’t get very far.
Connie Kendall: Then you can give us all a ride home!
Harlo: I can? Oh, sure, of course! Get signed up and pack up! Happy Bobble Blast Day! Hooray, here we go! We’ll be able to go home and watch the game and eat your mom’s turkey hash.
John Whittaker: No, I hate the hash!
Connie Kendall: It appears we won’t miss Thanksgiving this year after all.
John Whittaker: And I can get warmed up. I’m so freezing. Thank you, Eugene.
Wooton Bassett: You’re welcome.
Eugene Meltzner: The truth is, even if we had been stuck here, we wouldn’t really have missed Thanksgiving. Sharing the day with good friends who all agree that Thanksgiving is an overflow of our gratefulness to God is a wonderful blessing. Nothing can take that away.
Wooton Bassett: You’re right, Whit.
Eugene Meltzner: The McGloos’ choice to be thankful reminds me of a verse in Philippians 4. It says, "Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Connie Kendall: If you liked today’s episode, I’d love to hear from you. You can write to me at Adventures in Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995. Or in Canada, write to Box 9800, Vancouver, BC, V6B 4G3. And visit us online at whitsend.org.
Chris: Adventures in Odyssey is a presentation of Focus on the Family. "A Thankstaking Story" was written by Dave Arnold, sound design by Nathan Jones, with songs written by Will Ryan and music by John Campbell. Our cast included Andre Stojka, Will Ryan, Katie Leigh, and Jess Harnell. And I’m Chris, hoping you’ll join us again next time for more Adventures in Odyssey!