Problems Relating To Marriage And Singleness Pt. 2

Guest (Male): Welcome to Somebody Loves You Radio, the Bible teaching ministry of Raul Ries in Diamond Bar, California. Thanks for joining us for our continuing series in 1st Corinthians. Today, Raul zeros in on the subject of marriage. He'll illuminate what the Bible says about separation, divorce, and marrying a non-believer. If you're single, you'll also be challenged to wait on God for a spouse while putting your own spiritual journey first. Today's lesson is titled, "Problems Relating to Marriage and Singleness." Here's Raul Ries in 1st Corinthians.
Raul Ries: Look what he's going to say now tonight, beginning in verse 10. This is pretty heavy. Now he's going to deal with the problem of divorce in the church. He says, "Now to the married, I command, yet not I but the Lord." Underline that. This is what God says, not Paul. This is what God says. "A wife is not to depart from her husband." That means she is not to divorce. The word "depart" is "divorce." Now there are cases in a marriage where you're not getting along. We read that in the beginning, remember? Where the husband and wife separate to give themselves to prayer and fasting. And if they get tempted, they need to come back to each other and reconcile before they commit adultery. God gives us instructions on how to do it. But because people become hard-hearted and they want to hurt the other person, then they go out and do stupid things. But here Paul says, "This is what the Lord says." Verse 11. "But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband, and a husband is not to divorce his wife." And so vice-versa. Now the reason he says that is because he is saying this, which Jesus said in Matthew chapter 5:32. If a husband goes out and commits adultery—he's a Christian—and the wife finds out that he's committed adultery, and then he comes back and he says, "Honey, I'm so sorry. I've sinned against God, I really hurt you, and I want you to forgive me." She has the legal right, as he has the legal right if it's vice-versa, to say, "I forgive you and I'm going to stay with you." Or, she has and he has the legal right to say, "I'm going to divorce you." Pretty heavy, huh? That's what Jesus said. Verse 12. "But to the rest, I, Paul, not the Lord, say..." Now this is Paul's opinion. "If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her." You see? Paul gives you his opinion. If you marry a non-believer, you made the mistake already. If she doesn't want to leave you and you're the Christian and she's willing to stay with you, then you're to stay together in hoping and praying that sometime she will get saved or he will get saved. Like my wife did with me. She made a mistake. I totally deceived her. We knew each other way back from high school. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend. We had two separate lives. When I was in Vietnam is when she wrote to me and I began to write to her and we fell in love with each other. I came home. I was up in the Naval Hospital in Oakland, California. She came to see me and then I came back to see her. She was a missionary's daughter and I seduced her. She got pregnant and then we got married because I told her I loved her and I was going to marry her. And then we had our first child. I learned. Then I came to Christ four and a half years later, but she went through hell in the first four and a half years of our life. Think about what you can get yourself into if you're not careful. Learn from other people. Learn from the word of God, what God's word says. It's really important because then God can not only anoint you and bless you, and as you're praying for that partner that God will bring to you, then he will show you and you're going to see something that is so different. Because when you see that person that God brings to you, it's going to be God's perfect will for your life. It'll blow your mind what God will do in your life if you really wait upon him for the best, not for second best. Watch verse 13. "And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him." Notice that. "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified." That doesn't mean saved. He's set apart. Your salvation, your relationship with Jesus Christ puts a covering over your marriage and your family. Watch what he says. "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified or set apart by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart by the husband, otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy." Like when I was an unbeliever, my wife was a believer, my children were protected by God. They were protected by God because she was a Christian and I was not. But our home was actually protected by the Lord. I remember one time my wife had my little baby, it was actually my second son. I came home and I was enraged by something. She told me something. She was in the kitchen with my baby boy and she tried to say something and I was so angry and I kicked her. And it was like an angel intervened because nothing happened to her. I was at the point where I was already getting convicted over and over by the Holy Spirit to feel really bad inside. But it was just before my conversion came. That's what I was taught. My dad taught me that when he did it to my mom. My problem was not alcohol or drugs. I never touched drugs. Alcohol, very little. But I think it's really important that we understand if we have those situations and problems, then we need to know our limits. You need to know your limits. Because if you don't know your limits, you're going to get yourself in big trouble. So Paul here is giving us great advice, whether you're single or you're married. Look what else he says. This is so cool. Verse 15. "But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace." Notice that. Called us to peace. If that person wants to leave, they can leave. You're not under bondage. You should be at peace with God because God is your protector. And then verse 16. "For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one of us, let him walk and so I ordain in all the churches." Which means what? Stick to what God has called you to be. If married, stay married. If single, stay single. He says, "Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not be uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised." So here again Paul is talking about opportunity to serve. Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandment of God is what matters. Now remember, the Jew coming to Jesus Christ—before when he was a baby, eight days old, they would circumcise them. Then when Jesus came and when Paul was preaching and Peter was preaching, Paul says to them, "Look, if you're a Jew and you come to Jesus Christ, awesome, you're in." The Jews were having a problem with Gentiles coming to the Lord because they were not circumcised physically. They wouldn't accept them. Paul taught them in the word of God that Jesus said it doesn't matter whether you're circumcised or not, in the Lord everybody's the same. It's not about physical circumcision, it's the circumcision of the heart. Being transformed, becoming born again of the Holy Spirit. Where in the old time law it was all about tradition, Jesus Christ came to set the captives free. He didn't come to make a bunch of rules and regulations. He came and gave us his love, his grace, his mercy, and he gave us his peace so that we could be at peace with Jesus Christ. So he was talking to the Jew and to the Gentile. Verse 20. "Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called." Notice that. "Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it." So if you were a slave before and you get set free, enjoy it. Whatever God gives to you. "For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord's freedman. Likewise, he who is called while free is Christ's slave." You used to be a slave to your master before that, and he would pay you and he would own you. Think about how when Christ came and your master would set you free, now we have become, as Paul says, "Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ" or "Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ." We have become now slaves of Jesus Christ, not because we have to, but we have volunteered. We do it because we love him. I'm a servant of Christ. *Doulos*. In the Old Testament, in order to become a slave in the Book of Exodus, it says you went over, like I go to the market, buy a slave, and bring him home. He works for me for six years. He has a wife now and children. Six years are up. I say, "Okay, you're free to go now, six years." But he says, "Master, I love you. You've been so good to me. I got a wife, I have children, I don't want to depart. I want to stay with you forever." Then he would take his slave to the doorpost of his house. He would take a little thing, put his right ear next to the door, and he'd drill a hole through the ear and then would put an earring on his right ear. That's where the piercing of ears came. The wearing of an earring means to be a slave by choice. By choice. It's so cool to see that you and I have become slaves by choice as I have volunteered and given my life to Jesus Christ. I don't follow him because I have to, it's because I want to. I'm not being forced. I love him and I want to stay with him and I want to serve him. That's what he's talking about.
Guest (Male): You're listening to Somebody Loves You Radio with Raul Ries. We're committed to equipping you with God's life-shaping Word. Visit somebodylovesyou.com to look through our full library of Bible-based resources. Raul's practical series titled "Unity, Holiness, and Love" is also available on CD and USB. Now, back to more with Raul Ries.
Raul Ries: Look what else he says. "For he," verse 22, "who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord's freedman. Likewise, he who is called free is Christ's slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men." What did Jesus Christ do? He paid fully for you when he died on the cross and shed his blood for you. So he says, brethren, verse 24, "Let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called." Isn't that cool? Whatever God has called you to do and in whatever state, stay that way. You don't have to change anything. God will change you. God will mold you and shape you into his image and what he wants you to be. Then verse 25 to 35, advice to the unmarried, to the single now. "Now concerning virgins," the unmarried, those that have never ever had any physical contact. And by the way, young girls and young guys, if you were actually sexually active in the world and when you came to Christ, you're just like a virgin in the Lord. That's so cool. You don't have to tell people your past, you can start a brand new life in Jesus Christ. Look what he says. "Now concerning virgins I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I will give judgment as one whom the Lord in his mercy has made trustworthy." Paul says, I'm a total single person now. I have no wife, I've never touched a woman anymore. I'm done, Paul says. Then he says this. "I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is." Now you've got to get the background. Paul is saying it's good to stay single because remember where they were? There was Roman persecution. Husband and wives, single people and their children were being arrested, taken to Caesar Nero and they would have to confess Caesar is Lord or Christ is Lord. If I confess Christ is Lord, then I would be taken with my family and separated and then I would be put to death. That's the whole thing. Paul here is talking in reference in verse 26 to the threat of the Roman persecution, which was the present distress. They were being oppressed. So Paul says why get married if you're going to be arrested by the Romans and they're going to put you in prison and they're going to kill you? You're going to be in the presence of the Lord anyways. Stay single. Then he goes on to say, "Are you bound by a wife? Do not seek to be loosed from your wife. Are you loosed from your wife? Do not seek a wife." He is talking of that persecution. But then at the same time in the present state today, notice what Paul is saying. You don't have to go out looking for a wife. God will bring you the person that he wants in your life. It's so cool to see that. I respect young men and women that wait on the Lord. They wait on the Lord and they're married to the Lord. They spend their time in prayer and the word of God and learning and waiting upon God. It's so cool to see God bring that person to that young man and that young woman who is going to be faithful to her, faithful to him. And they're going to have children and they're going to have their marriage. They're so in love with each other. Yes, they have difficult times and they have problems, but because the Lord is in the center of the camp, they solve their problems in the Lord. But people that don't put Christ in their lives in the center, then they do stupid things and they dissolve their marriages and they hurt one another and they hurt their families. Paul gives great advice. Verse 28. "But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless, such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you." Notice that. Because of the persecution, you're going to have problems because your husband may be taken and killed and you'll be separated from him and then they'll kill you. Verse 29. "But this I say, brethren, the time is short." Paul has this thing about Jesus coming soon. He says the time is short, the Lord's coming. Or you're going to be in the presence of the Lord maybe tonight, next day or next week or next month, they're going to kill you. And then he says this. "So that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they have no wife." He says focus and get central in Jesus Christ. Your relationship with God is the most important thing. If your relationship with Jesus Christ is complete, then your relationship with your husband, your wife, and everybody else is going to be cool. But if Christ is not the Lord of your life, then you're going to have difficulty with everybody else, everybody else. Because think of how many husbands fall in love more with their wives and their children more than Jesus Christ. Paul gives great advice to the married and to the unmarried. Then he says this, notice. Verse 30. "Those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess." Notice, don't get caught up with your possessions. The time is short, Jesus is coming soon. "And those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord." Mark that those of you that are single. Look what he said. If you fall in love with Jesus Christ, you're not looking for a boyfriend, not a girlfriend, and not a husband. You're going to fully fall in love with Jesus Christ. That's going to be the center of it. And you're going to please the Lord. Verse 33. "But he who is married," notice the distraction, "cares about the things of the world, how he may please his wife." Nothing wrong with pleasing your wife, but it's when you please your wife and you don't please the Lord. That's the problem. Paul gives us the whole insight here. Verse 34. He says, "There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit." Which means you don't have sex with your boyfriend. You're totally given in marriage to the Lord as a single woman. And so man too, the guys too. He goes on to say, "But she who is married cares about the things of the world, how she may please her husband." Think of how many husbands or wives, because they're so into each other, they displease the Lord and they're out of God's perfect will for their lives and they need to return to their first love. Verse 35. "And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash or a snare on any of you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without any distractions." Underline that. No distractions should be in your life as single or as married in any way. Then he concludes by verses 36 to 40, saying this. "But if any man thinks that he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of her youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes; he does not sin; let her marry." And then he says, "Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep himself a virgin, does well." Notice that. Just like Paul the apostle. If God gives you the gift of singleness, that's great. Verse 38. "So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does even better. A wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives." See, no divorce. You live together. And check this out. "A wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies," so I die or she dies, then he says, "She is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." Only in the Lord. If not, you stay single and you wait on the Lord. Not a non-believer husband. We have seen in the church here widows whose husbands have died and we saw one case here. A good friend of ours who was coming to Calvary a long time ago died. He gave all his inheritance to his wife. His wife met somebody else. This guy saw what she had, he came to her, they got married, he took everything from her, and then he dumped her. That's what happens. That's what happens. You've got to really be careful in the Lord to make sure that this is the word of the Lord. Did God really say this to me? Then be patient and wait upon God and you give yourself fully and completely to Jesus Christ and then he will do whatever he wants in your life. Look at the last verse 40. "But she is happier if she remains as she is according to my judgment, and I think that I have also the Spirit of God." So what does he say? She is happier if she remains single. Paul says like me, you're happier. God gives you that gift. If you have problems, then you start praying that God will bring you the person that he has prepared for you.
Guest (Male): It is good to be reminded that God deserves to be first in your life, regardless of your own current marital status. You're listening to Somebody Loves You Radio with Raul Ries. Today's study, "Problems Relating to Marriage and Singleness," is available in its unedited form for a donation of $5 or more. If you'd like to get a copy, just call us at 800-634-9165. And for more insight into what it takes to walk closely in step with the Lord, we'd like to offer you Raul's 11-part series Unity, Holiness, and Love. It's available on CD and USB. Providing additional guidance for your relationships, this resource also explores how to exercise your faith in handling conflict, managing finances, serving in ministry, and much more. You'll find that you can enjoy God's richest blessings as you glorify his name in practical ways. Visit somebodylovesyou.com or call 800-634-9165 to order Raul's 11-lesson series titled Unity, Holiness, and Love. We'll send you the CD set for $23 or the flash drive for $14. That's 800-634-9165. Our mailing address if you'd like to order by writing to us is Somebody Loves You Radio, Post Office Box 4440, Diamond Bar, California 91765. Look through Spotify and iTunes to get podcasts of all of these programs, and you'll also find podcasts on the Somebody Loves You Worldwide YouTube channel along with live-streamed teaching and Raul's weekly Straight Talk program. Somebody Loves You Radio with Raul Ries is completely listener-supported. Your partnership is crucial to this ministry and every contribution is tax-deductible. Next time we'll continue to study God's Word verse by verse to grow in our love for the Lord Jesus. This program is sponsored by Somebody Loves You Radio in Diamond Bar, California.