How to Stay Centered in God’s Love When Life Feels Chaotic

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By Tricia Goyer

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over decades of mothering, caregiving, homeschooling, writing, and serving, it’s this: A woman can look completely put together on the outside while her heart is quietly unraveling on the inside.

Women today carry so much responsibility, guilt, spiritual dryness, fear, pressure, exhaustion, and expectations they were never meant to shoulder alone. (Can you relate?) And we’ve become skilled at hiding it. We smile through it. We power through it. We whisper, “I’m fine,” even when we aren’t.

The truth? You can only pretend to be “fine” for so long before something deep inside starts to ache for more. What your heart is aching for isn’t perfection or performance.  It’s God’s presence. It’s His love—steady, unhurried, and near. Let’s walk through how to find that again.

The Hidden Battle Women Face

A friend once called late at night, her voice barely above a whisper. “Tricia… I look okay, but inside, I’m falling apart.”

Her words echoed seasons of my life when I, too, collapsed onto the couch at the end of another long day. I was emotionally numb, physically spent, and spiritually distant. I had poured out everything to everyone else, hoping it would be enough, all while quietly ignoring my own soul.

There were times I felt like a “limping version of myself.” I showed up, I functioned, I helped. The truth? Inside I was depleted. I know now many women carry that same limp… silently. We think it means something is wrong with us. But it’s actually a sign:

Your heart is calling out for attention. Don’t think of it as a scolding. Or even shaming. Instead, listen to its whisper: “Don’t forget me.”

Receiving Comes Before Doing

When I was seventeen (pregnant, heartbroken, and abandoned), I felt like I had ruined everything. Friends moved on. My cheer uniform no longer fit. My future felt like a locked room with no key.

One night, with trembling lips, I prayed the most honest prayer of my life: “God, if You can do anything with my life… please do.”

God didn’t ask me to prove myself. He didn’t ask me to clean myself up. He didn’t ask me to get everything together. He met me right there—in the messy middle.

Years later, as I grew in faith, I realized how often I still sought validation from people. I wanted approval, praise, reassurance, and belonging. But validation from people can only patch the surface. It cannot heal. It cannot anchor. It cannot speak peace into the storm. Only God’s love can do that.

Your life will not change by trying harder. Your life changes when you receive more of Jesus’ love.

Your Heart Doesn’t Need More Willpower, It Needs Connection

I remember one morning during an especially overwhelming season. I sat with my Bible open, feeling nothing but exhaustion. My mind was scattered and my emotions were brittle. I didn’t have the strength to “be spiritual” or produce anything meaningful.

I turned to a section of the Bible I normally skimmed—ancient laws, rituals, instructions. But that morning, something shifted. I felt God’s gentleness through the pages. I saw that even the hard-to-understand sections were really about one thing:

God was inviting His people closer. Why? Because connection softens the heart. The laws were about setting up ways that unholy people could approach a holy God. Suddenly, it all made sense, and it was beautiful.

When life feels impossible, the solution isn’t pushing through. It’s slowing down. It’s letting God meet you where you are.

Soul Care > Self-Care

I love a good bubble bath, candles, or a quiet walk, but self-care alone cannot heal a weary soul.

I’ll never forget the day we moved into a new house. Boxes were stacked everywhere. Kids were unsettled. I was exhausted and holding back tears. A friend knocked on the door, walked in, scooped up my toddler, and simply said: “Keep unpacking. I’ve got her.” And after that, she continued to play with my toddler so I could have a few minutes to read my Bible and connect with God.

She didn’t bring a fancy spa basket or tell me to “take time for myself.” She brought presence. She brought relief. She brought soul care.

And that moment reminded me: Self-care refreshes your body. Soul care restores your heart. Let people in. Let God in deeper.

The Five-Minute Soul Reset

One afternoon, I felt an old ache rising inside me. It was shame that I thought I had buried long ago. Instead of pushing it down, I stopped. I placed my hands on my desk, closed my eyes, and whispered, “Jesus, I’ve carried this too long.” It was my own small act of confession, the kind Scripture invites us into when it says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us…” (1 John 1:9, NLT).

And the release was immediate. The weight I’d been holding finally loosened. Peace—real peace, the kind that settles deep—filled me like a slow inhale. It reminded me again that confession isn’t God shaming us; it’s His way of setting our hearts free.

Here’s the simple reset I return to again and again as I read God’s Word:

1. Say what God is doing:  “You’re here. You see me. You care about this.”

2. Repeat what He says: “Be still. I am your refuge. You are mine.”

3. Praise Him for who He is:  “Thank You for meeting me. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for peace.”

Five minutes. Just five. Enough to soften what was hard and restore what felt lost.

Why This Matters Right Now

Women today are carrying an unspoken heaviness. We’re overwhelmed, yet ashamed of being overwhelmed. We’re tired, yet pretending we’re not tired. We’re spiritually dry, yet afraid to admit it. And we assume joy belongs to other people—women with quieter homes, calmer children, easier marriages, more perfect routines.

But joy isn’t situational. Joy is relational. Joy comes when you remember God is near.
Joy comes when you let Him love you. Joy comes when you stop hustling and start resting in Him.

A Loved Heart Changes Everything

Friend, your circumstances may not change today. Your home might still be loud. Your schedule may still be full. Your responsibilities may still stretch you thin. But your heart can change.

Because God meets you not after you fix everything—but right in the middle of the mess. A loved heart is a strengthened heart. A strengthened heart becomes a steady heart. A steady heart changes everything.

P.S. Want a Simple Way to Stay Rooted in God’s Word?

If your heart is craving steady truth, consistent Scripture, and a doable rhythm with God, The One Year Bible for Women and The One Year Bible for Men are simple, powerful tools to anchor your days.

• Daily Old & New Testament readings
• Psalms & Proverbs
• A short devotional
• A plan you don’t have to think about—just open and read
  

Ten minutes a day can reshape your year… and your heart.

Ready to Get Started?

One Year Bible for Women

One Year Bible for Men