Dr. David

As you take the time to listen to your mate, value what they have to say. Honor their feedback and respond to that information.

Let’s agree not to dread this holiday season. Let’s not let others “hook” us into acting in ways we don’t want to act, doing things we don’t want to do, and having feelings we’d prefer not to have. While we can’t have a perfect world, and must keep our expectations in perspective, we don’t have to be victims either.

Dear Dr. David: My husband and I were married just over three years ago. For the first several years we went to church together regularly. About a year ago he told me he no longer believed in Jesus as his Lord and Savior...

Both men and women act out sexually. Many marriages are fraught with numerous instances of betrayal.

You can’t make him listen to you. He can’t make you listen to him. We can only put ourselves in an emotional and spiritual space where someone might want to listen to us and connect to us.

“He wants to talk about one thing at a time. I like to bounce around. I’m always multi-tasking. I get back to the topic at some point.”

As you might imagine, a marriage cannot really remain in neutral. A couple cannot coast and not incur damage.

Internal changes lead to external changes. If he has changed internally—a heart change—you will see evidence in his actions.

I’ve decided that we think we know a whole lot more about others than we really know.

Do you ever wonder if your mate can be helped? Do you wonder if their character issues are so camouflaged that no one will ever see them, much less intervene with them?

I recommend couples who cannot worship in church together find ways to worship at home together—through prayer, song, and reading of Scripture.

For those of you who are struggling with this problem, I want to encourage you with this ... fight the good fight ... have faith in God ... trust in Him. And if you fail, remember this: God still loves you! Whenever you fall, He will pick you up if you call out to Him. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9 NKJV)

We are all responsible for our behavior—nothing more, nothing less. If we will do our work, cleaning our side of the street, the impact is often immense.